2012年3月12日星期一

See or not

你见 或者不见我
It doesn’t matter if you see me or not
我就在那里
I am standing right there
不悲不喜
With no emotion

你念 或者不念我
It doesn’t matter if you miss me or not
情就在那里
the feeling is right there
不来不去
and it isn’t going anywhere

你爱 或者不爱我
It doesn’t matter if you love me or not
爱就在那里
Love is right there
不增不减
and it is not going to change

你跟 或者不跟我
It doesn’t matter if you are with me or not
我的手 就在你手里
My hand is in your hand
不舍不弃
and I am not going to let go

来我的怀里
Let me embrace you
或者让我住进你的心里
or let me live in your heart to eternity
默然 相爱 寂静 欢喜
Silence.Love.Calmness.Joy

《见与不见》

——仓央嘉措

2010年7月22日星期四

下雨了……

男孩和女孩是一对男女朋友,
男孩很花心,
但女孩对男孩很专情。

女孩很爱雨天,也喜欢淋雨。
每当女孩跑出伞外淋雨时,
男孩往往也想陪著她一起淋雨,
但都被女孩给阻止了。
男孩总问:"为什么不让我陪你一起淋雨呢?"
女孩总回答说:"因为我怕你会生病!"
男孩也会反问她:"那你为什么要去淋雨呢?"
但女孩总是笑而不答。
最后往往是男孩拗不过女孩而答应了她的要求,
因为男孩只要看到女孩开心就很快乐,
但幸福的时光总是不会长久的。

男孩喜欢上另一个女孩,
喜欢她的程度更胜于她。
有一天当男孩和女孩吃饭的时候,
他提出了分手的要求,
而女孩也默默的接受了。
因为她知道男孩像风,
而风是不会为了任何人而停留的。
那天晚上,是男孩最后一次送女孩回家。
在女孩家楼下,男孩吻了女孩最后一次。
男孩说:"真抱歉,辜负了你!但是陪你在一起淋雨是我最快乐的时光!"
女孩听完便抽泣了起来,
男孩抱著她。
许久以后,
男孩跟女孩说:"有一个问题我想问你已经很久了,为什么每一次你在淋雨时都不让我陪呢?"
许久之后女孩缓缓的说:"因为我不想让你发现……我在哭泣!"

2010年6月29日星期二

生活就像强奸

生活就像强奸,要么反抗要么就去享受
工作就像轮奸,您不行就让别人上
社会就像自慰,所有的都要靠自己的双手来解决

好朋友就象内裤,就算你大起大落他也永远包含着你
非常好的朋友象避孕套,永远为你安全着想
更好的朋友象伟哥,当你抬不起头时他给予你力量

好朋友象bra,永远支撑着你
更好的朋友象丝袜,在一起永远都那么紧密
更好的朋友象卫生巾,你每次流血,她帮你擦


作弊就像是服用伟哥,也许你自认为非常强悍,可是若你不嗑这个你永远无法让所有人满意.

重修就像计划外怀胎,你在操作的时候再小心翼翼,也必须要有心理准备直面面对这种惨淡的失败.

四级证书就像是杰士邦保险套,只在找工作的时候拿出用,之后没人愿意把它捡起来洗干净再用第二次.

网恋就像是梦遗,人人都认为它会来,但没人知道它到底么时候来.55岁以上或者有前列腺炎病史者可以略过不看.

师生恋就像月经来潮,虽然不是不光彩的事情,但在对别人讲述的时候,人人都遮遮掩掩装作羞于启齿.

上课就像和你老婆做爱,虽然你未必情愿,但她大约每个月会点名要求你来上一次.

逃课就像习惯性自慰,明明知道太过频繁会伤身体,但你仍然无法抗拒那一刻的快感.

开学就像接客,你还没有休息够,新一批的客人就又来打扰你了.

毕业就像生产,不管你认为你们在计划怀孕的时候它会多么的畸形,但再畸形它也在10个月或者4年后瓜熟蒂落.

辅导员就像是阴毛,这不是什么问题,但有它存在的时候你总有摩擦,并且因此感到有些不爽.

后期集团也像保险套,它让你感到很不舒服,人人都希望抛弃它,但它的宣传广告上则宣称这个贵而不惠的东西会带给你多少多少的好处.

2010年6月27日星期日

分清什么是男朋友、什么是老公?

分清什么是男朋友、什么是老公?什么喜欢你?什么是爱你?什么把你当爱人?做到这些时再叫他老公吧!否则他不配!
男朋友在乎你的体重有没有升;老公在乎你今晚有没有吃饱
男朋友在乎你今天打扮的够不够漂亮;老公在乎你今天穿的那么少会不会冻着
当你遇到困难的事情时候,男朋友会安慰你;老公会在第一时间赶到
男朋友在乎你今天开心过没有;老公会在乎你今天遇到不开心的事没有
男朋友只给你买漂亮的时装;老公给你买温暖的羽绒服
男朋友和哥们吃饭不会想你在干什么 吃饭怎么办;老公和哥们吃饭会不踏实 时不时给你发信息,一遍遍告诉你他很快就会回来
如果你够漂亮,男朋友会考虑要不要把你带给他的朋友看,长长面子:如果你不够漂亮,你的老公走到哪都会带着你,也许你没有勇气,但是他会给你鼓励。
男朋友的家人如果不喜欢你,他会放弃你:老公的家人如果不喜欢你,他会尽自己最大的努力去保护你。
男朋友觉的你们不合适,他会走开,即使他还喜欢你;如果全世界都觉得你们不合适,可是你的老公还是会守候你。
男朋友只会限于他所认为的人知道你的存在;老公会告诉整个世界:你是他的宝贝。
男朋友打完电话会急急挂掉;老公会等你挂断,他才会挂断。
男朋友会在你烦闷的时候让你自己静静;老公会留下来跟你吵架,帮你发泄。
男朋友在你特殊的几天里会躲着你;老公会在那几天给你冲热水,给你讲笑话。
男朋友会把你说分手当真;老公会在你说分手之后挽留你,因为他知道你希望被挽留,并不想走。
男朋友会在自己有能力的范围内满足你;老公会付出一切都要满足你,即使满足不了,他还是会尽最大努力。
男朋友想的明天和未来很少;老公会把你们以后的宝宝名字都取好。
男朋友不敢给承诺,给了也未必做到。老公敢于做出了承诺,而且一定会做到。
男朋友不敢相信你们的爱情;老公会把娶你当做他的人生目标,并且渴望和你一起变老。
亲爱的朋友们,当你觉得他做到这些时再叫他老公吧!因为老公才是这个世界上真正爱你的男人!

2010年5月3日星期一

《山楂树之恋》十大感人情话

1、我不能等你一年零一个月了,我也不能等你到二十五岁了,但是我会等你一辈子……

2、我——其实不怕死,我只是----不想死,想天天跟你在一起——

3、你活着,我就不会死;但是如果你——死了,我就——真正地——死了。

4、男人不为自己流泪,男人也不兴为别人流泪?

5、你如果要揭发我,我也认了,死在你手里,心甘情愿。只求你在我死后,在我坟上插一束山楂花,立个墓碑,上书:这里埋葬着我爱过的人。

6、静秋,静秋,其实你也能一生一世爱一个人的,你只是不相信别人会那样爱你,你以为自己一无是处,其实你---你很聪明,很漂亮,很善良,很可爱----很----我肯定不是第一个----爱上你的人,也不是最后一个,不过我相信我是最爱你的那一个----”

7、静秋、静秋,你可能还没有爱过,所以你不相信这世界上有永远的爱情。等你爱上谁了,你就会知道世界上有那么一个人,你是宁愿自己死都不会对她出尔反尔的。

8、你说的话,我是理解的要执行,不理解的也要执行。所以你千万不要说言不由衷的话,因为我都当真的。

9、从我遇见你的那一天起,我就在心里恳求你,如果生活是一条单行道,就请你从此走在我的前面,让我时时可以看见你;如果生活是一条双行道,就请你让我牵着你的手,穿行在茫茫人海里,永远不会走丢。

10、遗言:如果静秋过得很幸福,就不要把这些东西给她;如果她爱情不顺利,或者婚姻不幸福,就把这些东西给她,让她知道世界上曾经有一个人,倾其身心爱过她,让她相信世界上是有永远的爱的。

2009年11月17日星期二

please describe the male sex organs in your country.

Q: Miss America, please describe the male sex organs in your country.
Miss USA: U.S. male organ like a gentleman.
Q: Why is that?
Miss USA: as long as one can see female, they will stand up ... ...
(Applause, applause)
Question: Ms Spain, please describe the male sex organs in your country.
Miss Spain: Spain's male organs like bullfighting.
Q: Why is that?
Miss Spain: as long as it will see a hole .it 'll attack.
(Applause, applause)
Q: Miss Philippines, please describe the male sex organs in your country.
Miss Philippines: Philippines the male organ like rumors .
Q: Why is that?
Miss Philippines: it spread from one mouth another mouth.
(Applause, applause, standing applause, applause, applause)
Q: Iran Miss, please describe the male sex organs in your country.
Miss Iran: Iran's male organs like thieves.
Q: Why is that?
Miss Iran: because they always love the backdoor.
(Applause, applause, laughter, laughter, applause, applause)
Q: Miss India, please describe the male sex organs in your country.
Miss India: The Indian male organs such as labor.
Q: Why is that?
Miss India: Because it "do" in the day and night
(Applause, applause, applause, applause, applause, applause)
Q: Miss Malaysia, please describe the male sex organs in your country.
Miss Malaysia: Malaysia's the male organ is like Proton sedans(Malaysia-made vehicles).
Q: Why is that?
Miss Malaysia: It seems very hard (is similar to the HONDA) is actually very soft (a collision on the deformation).
(Applause, applause, laughter, laughter, applause, applause)
Question: Ms Singapore, please describe the male sex organs in your country.
Miss Singapore: Singapore's male organ is very kiasu.
Q: Why is that?
Miss Singapore: it Always rushed into "court", played 15 minutes in advance.
(Applause, applause, applause, applause, applause, applause)
Q: Miss China, please describe the male sex organs in your country.
Miss China: China's male organs like the space shuttle.
Q: Why is that?
Miss China: Although small, but within minutes you can be sent to the clouds ... ...

2009年11月15日星期日

The strongest country each Century

BC 15th century and before: Kingdom of Egypt, the ancient Babylonian kingdom (China's Xia, Compare to them .there still be distance)

14th century BC: the Egyptian kingdom, the Kingdom of Shang


The 13th century BC: the Egyptian kingdom, the Kingdom of Shang

The 12th century BC: Business of the Kingdom (and Egypt have said goodbye)

The 11 Century BC: The Shang of the Kingdom (even the King Zhou in Shang period is also very strong)

The 10th century BC: Kingdom of Zhou

The 9th century BC: kingdom of Zhou, the Assyrian Empire

The 8th century BC: kingdom of Zhou, the Assyrian Empire

The 7th century BC: Neo-Babylonian kingdom, the SSpring-Autumn countries (at that time ,only one state will be compared with other countries, with the Warring States)

The 6th century BC: Persian Empire, the Spring-Autumn countries

The 5th century BC: Greek city-states, the Persian Empire of the Warring States Each country

The 4th century BC: Alexander the Empire ,the Warring States countries

The 3rd century BC: Qin Empire (including the Warring States Period each country), Peacock Empire

The 2nd century BC: the Han Empire, Carthage Kingdom (Mediterranean overlord, Rome has not yet begun stronger)

a century BC: the Roman Republic, the Han empire

The 1st century AD: Roman Empire, the Han empire

The 2nd century AD: Roman Empire (this period there is no Chinese dynasty, one of Han decay, two three countries decay)

The 3rd century AD: the Wei-Jin Empire, Roman Empire, the Kingdom of the Huns (westward after the Huns)

The 4th century AD: the Persian Empire Sassanid dynasty, the Eastern Jin Dynasty empire

The 5th century: the Persian Empire Sassanid dynasty (Chinese dynasty is not the time, because we all know the reason)


The 6th century AD: Byzantine Empire, the Sui Empire (who said that Sui is not strong almost no knowledge of history)

The 7th century AD: the Arab Empire, the Tang Empire

The 8th century AD: the Arab Empire, the Tang Empire

The 9th century AD: Byzantine Empire (the Late Tang Dynasty, during this period there is no Chinese dynasty, because the reason was easy)

The 10th century AD: Byzantine Empire, the Liao Empire (Liao much earlier than the Song Dynasty, and a high degree of localization)

The 11th century AD: Song Empire, Liao Empire (Song of the economy, culture can be compared to today's world)


The 12th century AD: Song Empire, Jin Empire (Jin at the time of the world is second only to the Southern Song Dynasty developed areas)

The 13th Century AD: The Mongol Empire (Mongolian dominant during this period)

The 14th century AD: The Mongolian Empire, the Ming Empire, the Ottoman Empire, the Mayan kingdom (civilization and a high degree of incredible, incredible also disappeared)

The 15th century AD: Ming Empire, the Ottoman Empire

The 16th century AD: Ming Empire, the Ottoman Empire, the Kingdom of Spain, Kingdom of Portugal ( the great sailing ships era, the rise of the Portuguese west)

The 17th centuryA AD: the Dutch Republic, the Kingdom of Spain (UK time had just started, which is not), the Qing Empire


The 18th century AD: the French Republic (Empire), the British Empire (Russia when considered a bird, 18th century is Britain and France centuries), the Qing Empire

AD 19th century: the British Empire (Needless to say, and the United Kingdom full flowering)

AD 20th century: the German Third Reich, the Soviet Federal Republic, the United States of America

AD 21st Century: the United States of America, The People's Republic of China (perhaps ... ...)