Transnational marriage-Chinese culture&Customs(2)

Now .let's talk about the contemporary wedding ceremony
In this part .I want to use the one true wedding example to tell you .
Because I awlays think the Life is the best teacher
Honest .the contemporary wedding ceremony is a little simple than Old .but it still more complex than western
Now there is too much kinds of marriage customs ,in here ,I only say one of them
Contemporary love and marriage is free .
When one guy love a girl ,he 'll bring this girl to his family for ask his parents see his girlfriends .Of course ,the girl'll bring the this guy to her family ,too
About this ,sometimes. the parents" your girlfriend is nice ,I agree you .when are going to marry?" others parents 'll say"I don't agree .you look so handsome.but he(her)...."
If their parents agree this marriage.let's watch next
The guy "ll send girl love token
About this love token ,I need say .every period have different love token .
In general ,contemporary love token is Rings.but in old time ,it's not Rings .
Just like Dowry.I remember my parents told me when they marry ,the Dowry is common .
“三转一响”
About this ,I must explain this .
"三转"stand for bike,Watch.Sewing"
"一响" stand for Radio
But this happen near 30 years ago .
In order to tell this detail .I take a true example .
This example is happen last year( this is my brother's wedding .so this is a good example )
Of course .My brother knew my sister-in-law with helping matchmaker
Maybe someone ask me ,now the Love is free .why there is have matchmaker?
The Answer that " of course .in some region .such as the village.
Of course ,Now the Matchmaker have become one job .in some city ,you 'll see many Marriage agency
About he Matchmaker between my borther and sister-in-law .I have to say .she is my sister.
As the process ,my sister arrange the date for them.
In Here ,we have a name for this "相亲(blind date)"
About the what they talk in the Date. althought I have not enter .but we could guess these .
Such as 。something about the family .and work ...
After this meeting. if they like each other .they 'll keep contact .
But if they don't have interested each other. they 'll tell the matchmaker .
About what do they tell the matchmaker ?
It's simple .
"I don't like him( her)"
of course .sometime. they don't tell the matchmaker .they 'll contact some time .
As the time pass .they 'll feel if they match each other.
In here .I have to day ,about this .they 'll consider much factor .such as work .house.handsome...
I take a example .if you have a steady job .in blind date .you have a big advantages
The same is house .handsome ...
OF course .these condition to limited man .
Someone ask why? why it's not fair for man?
I only tell you ,In Chinese tradtional culture .the man earn money to keep the family .unalterable principle .so we call
"男人挣钱养家是天经地义的事"
So if meet one guy ,he have not steady job ,not having house .of course ,he is not handsame .
I guess maybe in his life ,there is no girl like marry him
Of course .you know ,in this world .there would be miracle to happen
So in here ,this make me think of one proverb
Nothing is impossible----Adidas
He He .when you watch this .you must know this well
But I send you another proverb
Anything is possible---Li Ning
Ok .I think under these two proverbs .you have known my meaning
In some speacial situation ,even one guy has not any advantage ,but he still could marry .
About this reason .before there is someone ask me the reason.
I only tell this friend
The reason is simple
" The God love this guy so much"
Of course . we have proper noun for this
"狗屎运"
In here ,if you translate it with translator
"Je te dis merde"
I guess you must understand it .
Ok .we don't should spend time on these
Let's come back the point
As the time gone,If the guy and girl like each other .
They 'll tell own parents .Just like my brother
But Don't forget .since then. my parents have not see her ,and her family have not seen my brother.
In general .the Guy 'll take her to his family
I remember my brother take his girlfriend(my sister-in-law)to my home
Most of parents 'll watch this gril
About what do they watch?
If she look good ? if she is polite?...
Of course ,they 'll ask some about her backgrand.
I awlays think the Chinese is strange
Sometimes. becasue of small thing.the parents don't agree this marriage
Just like my cousin ,
This year my cousin have been married ,but before marriage .there is matchmaker introduce one girl to him, becasue she wear glasses .so my cousin don't like this marry .
Or because the the guy( or girl) have not job ,so the girl(guy) don't receive this love
So I think now in here .the love have changed .
Before they love each other .they only consider feeling ,so they 'll marry
But now between male and female ,they consider too fator about the Love,such as job.house
Of course ,my parents like my sister-in-law. so they agree
And her family agree ,too
Ok ,next process
Even my borther .my family .she her family all agree .
So this porcess is called"提亲"in my family .this called" 送书”
My family 'll appoint one guy with matchmaker go to female's family .
So they 'll discuss when take place wedding
About the Date of wedding ,I think I should I give you some explain .
“黄道吉日”
According the traditional customs.it depend the female's born date.
So in here .you can not marry at any date ,
According to lunar calendar. in every year .there are some days is good for marriage .
I heard this from old generation .
As what they said ,the marriage in these day is good .
Of course .if you want to marry in other day except for these days ,nobody stop you
But I still want to tell you .even you choose in here ,you should do as the Chinese custom
This is called "入乡随俗"
OF course ,about this “提亲".they go to female 's family with thing
You are right -----Dowry
About the dowry ,every local have different customs about this .
So in here ,I don't want to say too much about this ,you only remeber the male must bring the dowry to female to make proposal
After this process .we could watch next process--wedding .
But before the wedding ,I think I should tell you a tips ---送节
What does it mean? after the "提亲" to the wedding ,during this time ,if there is chinese tradtioanal festival .the male must gifts to female .these festival including Dragon Boat Festival,Autum festival.Spring festival ...
Ok next process .
This is the most process ---Wedding .
In my family town ,if there is one guy take place wedding ,this family must invite many people to enter wedding .of course including eating.so we have to make ready much food for people
Take my brother's wedding as example, I have estimated .there is more than 400 people attend my brother'wedding .
I think I must say .that day is so good day for the wedding ,so there is many weddings in that day .so some people have receive the invition from many weddings. but he could choose one .so in here ,I want to tell you .if according the invition, I think there must be more than 500 people attend my brother's wedding .
He he .so when I'm going to marry ,I must choose the special day .so that I could invite more people attend my wedding .
Ok let's come back the point.
About this wedding custom ,there is too much customs ,let me say it one bye one .
Fist one ,about the clothes. I must tell you ,the Chinese people like the wear red clothes .of we could wear white wedding in Wedding .Not like western
And the Groom and Bride must wear the new clothes .even Socks ,underwear ,they must wear the new ones .
Of course ,I heard the Groom must wear red socks in that day .others region have not this customs.
But I could tell you ,this is a little like in the Spring festival .as well known ,in hte Spring festival in China ,all the people wear the new clothes .so before the Spring Festival ,people 'll buy the clothes for the Spring Festival .
So if who want to use thsi point to earn money .you could open the clothes company in here.only in the Spring Festival .you could earn large of money
Actually .before the wedding 2 days .there is a scene of bustle and excitemen in my family
Someone people help paste couplets
Someone help Light House
Someone help paste paper-cut for window decoration
Someone hele cook meal for people ,after there are much people eat
.....
In a word ,this scene is bustle and excitmen
In here ,I want to ask you "If you have heard the Chinese couplets and Light House?"
If you answer" no" I advise you not continue to watch
Oh ,I think I forget to say ,the Eve of wedding .my brother must sleep with one guy
About this customs .there is some limited
The First one .this guy must have married ,
The second one .he must is my brother's brother. not uncle .not father .only brother.
And I know in the bed that they sleep .there is another customs
before the sleep .I saw my mum drop some green beans.so that they must sleep on the green beans.
About why do this ?
It need detail explain ,who intereted in this ,I give you more detail explain this
So in here ,I don't give you more detail explain .you only remember this customs
The day before the wedding .there is two important matters

The first one --Visit a grave
To I must tell you .one old general must take my brother visit a grave before the 12:00
The visit a grave to tell the ancestor my brother is going to marry .and our family add one person-- sister-in-law
This is a old custom ,too
The second one --the matchmaker ,with the Groom must go to female 's family .they 'll ask if the female have any request? just for customs .
Even still in the same city .but the custom still have difference.
In general .the female have not new reuqest for this .of course ,there is special example
Ok next,in general .the Groom must send the Bride to Wedding photo studio to dress up
I heard from my parents as if the Groom must send ,nobody can not replace him .
About the Dress up .thsi is not like western ,or other custom. it need a lot of time .so the Groom must get up early
Do you guess when my brother get up?
The Answer :2:00
So my brother ,with the driver went to female family to pick her and go to Wedding photo studio.
In here ,I have introduce this driver---- my cousin .
Of course ,about this driver ,you could use other man .
I remeber finish process ,my brother come back at near 6:00
So when he come back ,and we all have waked up
After all .marriage is the big part of life
Everyone is excited ,I remember my aunt who is my mum's second sister .she told me ,before my brothers' wedding 3 days .she can not sleep ( she is too excited to sleep).and she move to my family everyday .and she always ask my mum if need her help .and my other aunts ,uncle .
So after backing ,my brother must dress up himself .that is .wear new underwear .red socks .new clothes .in a word .dress up him as the most handsome guy
My brother must eat something ,even you are not hungry ,but you still must eat .this is order(customs)
Do you remember I said before wedding one day .the matchmaker ,with my brother go the female family?
I said " in general ,the female don't come up with new request"
But they 'll discuss some detail .
For example ,when do we go to receive the bride ? when do we leave the female family?
This is not what you want .This is customs.
I remember my sister-in-law 'family come up with the request ,after the receiving the bride .we must leave at the 11:00.
Remember .exactly 11:00
Ok .Now let's go to receive the Bride .
About this .we have different with western .
We 'll use the 10 cars to receive the bride .
This is not meaning the bride is big ,or fat .
This is ceremonious .I still said that word ."marriage is the big affair "
OF course ,for people who always divoce and marry times.this is have not meaning .but Don'r forget the Most of Chinese have only one marriage in his life ,so you could understand this .
I remember in the 2007 .In Shenyang .there is rich 's wedding
he use the 38 Hummers and 8 Toyota PARDO
So you could see how large scene of wedding .
Only the care .it's long near 200m
Acccording to this ,we could find .the Chinese is richer than before
So who want to get this . Ok marry a rich Chinese guy
He he .just kid
Before leave to receive the bride ,there have one customs
He must bows to parents
Just like before ,three bows

About the Cars .I must say more .between these cars ,there is one car is special .
Yeah,Float
When we go to there .only the driver ,my brother ,and some girls could sit this car.
Others can not sit this car
About these girl .you only need remember these girl are like us ,receiving bride
But I must tell .no every girl could go to receive bride .
About answer this question ,we need use the knowldge about the Zodiac.
In here ,I don't want to say
You only remember ,there is some condition to limte this .this limite is not high .fat ,beautiful
It 's Zodiac

About we who receive the bride ,there is a name
“迎亲”
So everyone who go to female's family to receive bride wear a red flower.
The flower ,with one small red clothes
There is some word in red clothes
In the Groom's red clothes,it's writen"新郎（groom)"
But others' red clothes .it's writen" 迎亲"

On the way .we need Firecrackers .this could added happy atmosphere
To be honest .about this firecrackers ,there is much knowledge .
So I don't want to say ,after all every custom have difference about this

About the route that we drive ,so should choose the main road
This tell people there is happiness in my family
And in here, I tell you another one ,
The car can not retrogress( remember this ,this is very important)

When we is near female's family,
we 'll burn the firecrackers .
When female 's family heard the firecrackers .they 'll go out to receive us

When we reach the female's family .
Of course .in this time .the bride have known we have reached ,so she 'll wear the white wedding .

To be honest .when the girl wear wedding ,she is becoem mroe beautiful .the wedding make the bride more beautiful
So .I remember one friend told me .
"女人，这辈子最漂亮的时候，是在结婚穿婚纱”
So ,I think althought the girl wear the wedding is beautiful .but I think the girl don't like wear much times .
Do you know why?
becasue always wearing stand for you awlays marry ,so it reflect your marriage have failed times .
So altought it's beautiful ,but most of people more like wear once .
I think the the Bride wear white wedding in the Wedding .I don't like other colors about the white wedding
So I think that time "结婚。对绝大多数人来说。一辈子只有一次."
It mean that "In general，marriage is only time for most of people "

In this time ,I tell you a fun .the female's family 'll ask the people to put on the something to groom's face .
Sometime ,they 'll use the ash from the Bottom of the pot
But everything have exception.
Someone 'll use the shoe cream
Shit ,if someone use the shoe cream.I only tell you ,you have a little trouble
Because it's hard for you to remove this in that day .
You ask me why I know this ?
because I have used the shoe cream to put on Groom 'face
So I know this

Later ,my borther 'll kneel down to one god
Attention ,about this god ,it's not Jesus .or Allah .we called"造家爷”
In here, according to old legend ,this god create the family .
so we must respect him .
before I have not seen this Customs ,this is the first one
My borther must kneel down and bows .


After the bride putting on white wedding .my borther must help the bride wear the Ring.
And the another red flower"新娘（bride)"
the Groom and bride 'll bows three times to Bride's parents
just like in my home .

After the bows .the Photographer 'll remember this beautiful scene--- Taking picture .or record video
After this .we leave the female and come back my home

About this ,I tell you some difference about this process .
For male's family ,this called "迎娶“
For female's family ,this called “ 出嫁”
Although the same process .but there is two name for the different side

So ,in here ,there is saying "娶个媳妇，满家红：出嫁闺女，满家损"
This word is from my mum
It mean that " if you are guy ,and you marry a girl ,your family is " hot"
But " if you are girl .the female 'family feel cool after this "

In here ,I must remind you ,the car come back as the original route

In the Float. the bride sit in that car .and the Groom sit other car .
after the bride enter the car ,the groom must help the bride wear shoes.
But the bride don't help the groom

Of course ,there is another fun .
just like in my cousin's wedding . the Bride and her friends hide the two shoes ,and after the wearing wedding ,the Groom must find out them by himself .
If you can not find out them .you 'll receive some punishment
Of course ,most of situation ,you could find out them
But don't forget my word ,every situation have special situation .
I have heard this

When we is near my home ,we 'll burn the firecrackers again
So they 'll know us come back

when we reach the home .my brother get out of car first .
And my sister-in-law still sit in the car
So .my Aunt 'll enter the Car to talk soemthing with my sister-in-law
About what they talk?
of course .the female 'll come up with some request.
Just like " only the male pay some money ,the bride 'll get out of car"
So when they make deal ,the birde is going to get out of car
In here ,the Groom must hold on bride ,and don't make the bride's feet touch the floor
So my brother must hold on his wife to his room .

In here, I told you a funny story .
I heard this from my aunt ,
There is guy ,he marry a girl
But this girl is fat .
So as this customs .
He must hold on his wife to room
But his new home is in the Fourth floor
that mean he have to hold on her to fourth floor
I heard when he reach the fouth floor
He cried
because she is fat ,so he so tired for this .
SO in the Wedding .this is most happiness .
He cried

So from this point ,I think as the man ,we should stengthen exercise

After this one ,we watch the important process
"拜天地"
In my hometwon, we called "施礼"
So the Groom and bride stand near .
In front of face ,there is a big word "囍"
The master of ceremonies 'll ask them bows the Sky and Earth
And second Bows the parents .
Third one ,they Bows each other
At last ,they bows to all the people who attend their wedding .
But now ,except for this ,we have added many programs
For example .let them read Love Declaration( about this ,I think this is from the western )
let Groom introduce the experience of love
Or .ask the Groom(bride) " how do you prove you love her(him)?"
...

Of course ,if the bride don't want to bows .or her bows reduce the sincerity
She 'll receive the punishment

After this process .all the people should come back sit to eat
After all .my family have been ready for much good food for the people
In here .the Chinese is different with western
Although my brother take place wedding ,but my family can not eat .
About my job .I serve food for my sister-in-law .
After serve soem food for her ,I 'll stop
SO she 'll ask me why stoping?
So I come up with requst for serving
And she know my meaning
So she give me some money ,and I continue

About this ,I explain to you
This is called“端盘费” it mean .the bride give soem money to thanks her serving
This job belong to the Groom's brother
In here ,it's me .

To be honest, I regret to come up with this idea
later ,there is crazy requst waiting for me :(

After meal .My sister should leave my home to other's home
In here ,the bride went to my Aunt home .
after she leaing .my family have to clean this .

Amostly near evening .my brother 'll go to my aunt to receive the bride
And in the evening .my parents 'll cook some food for her .
And the neighbor 'll come to my home to see bride ,too
After the super. there is three things

First one,there is one job for my aunt ,
About this aunt ,there is condition-- she must be as my father's sister-in-law
what's her jobs?
She clean the bed before sleeping
Actually ,before there is a important duty for her
That is .before leaving to receive the bride ,she must clean the Float
This is customs

The second one .this tudy belong to me
this is called " 端尿盆"
It mean ,I must send a chamber pot to their room .
Of course .this chamber pot is a new one
This is customs

The third one .this is most interesting .this duty belong to me ,too
When the neighbor left ,and the new couple sleep in the bed ,I must crouch under their windows .of course ,in outside of room .so heard what they talked .of course, if you don't like this behivour ,you could use the Props replace you--Brooms and straw hat
This is customs .

Except for these .there are some progams .
Just like “闹洞房”
That is .Whip the Groom.although in my brother wedding ,there is no one do this ,but I have done this in my friend's wedding .
OK .I tell you some games in Whip the Groom.
I remember there is game
we use the rope bound the apple .this apple is hanging in the air.and ask the Groom and bride to eat .they only use the mouth .so when they eat the apple .we 'll heighten the apple at sudden, so they'll kiss
And next game .we 'll request the new couple sing the songs for us. of Course . there is some difficult in this
Next one .we 'll request the Bride lie in the bed and we 'll Tiled Towel on her body.so we request the Groom use the mouth Roll this towel
Next one .the Groom's friends 'll hide some small thing in the clothes that the bride wear. and ask the bride to find out .you know someone is suck .she 'll hide this in the bride's udnerwear .so the Groom must found out it ( of course ,the bride can not put off the clothes ).so face so much people ,the Groom must seach it in the bride body .
Next one ,the people 'll ask the Bride wear the groom's clothes ,or asking the Groom wear the bride's clothes
Or The bride must show dance
.....

OK ,till now ,this is over .

The second day. the bride must go to female's family
This is called"认亲"
That is .the bride must go to female's family to know the female 's relative and friends

In the Second day ,I must get up early and accompany sister-in-law come back her home fristly .and my brother come her home second
Near the noon ,my brother have come to her home ,there are many people accompany him .
Someone ask me why there are much people accompany him ?
I said every region have different customs .
I take one example .if there are not these people
The female 's family 'll play Groom .juts I said " put on ash one the Groom 's face
But if you have these people,this behivours ,you could avoid
Of course ,there is other reason .

I remember this a another experience -- my cousin's wedding
When my another cousin meet this .the female 'll persuade the Groom drink wine .
Ok ,do you have drink beer?
Do you know how much Alcohol does beer?
In here most of bear 13-15
But in my counsin " 认亲"
The female persuade the Groom drink wine that Alcohol is near 52
Do you have drink this wine ?
I have drink this wine
I feel I eat a fire in my throat .it's hot
Face this .more there is a customs.so you must drink win from the noon till the Sky is dark .that mean .you must drink this wine from the 12:00 till the 6:00
So I think you could understand my feeling
More important .you know why there are much people to accompany him .if there are more people .os the Groom 'll drink less wine

In the meal .my Punishment is coming
The bride's brother serve food for us .
He is like me .
After some food , he come up with same condition for us .
The only difference is that he want to get more money than mine :(

After the meal .so this perfect wedding is over
So you could know the complete process about this
I think this is more complex than western's wedding
But I have heard more Complex process .but in here ,I don't said
After all .Not everyone like marry Chinese man .or girl

Except for these ,think the process is near like ,maybe there is some difference with other custom .
just like in my Cousin's wedding ,the people don't play Groom and bride ,they play the Groom parents -- my aunt and uncle