Transnational marriage-Chinese Customs&Culture(1)

Today .we could talk about the marriage customs.
Ok .let's me talk first ,for this ,I have found much information .
today ,I want to tell people two kind of Chinese marriage customs ---ancient and Contemporary.
First one ,let's talk about the ancient time .
Traditional Chinese vulgar "三书六礼”“三叩九拜" courtesy
In ancient time ,the love is not like now .there is too much limited about the love.or marriage .in other word ,there is no marriage freedom .
“父母之命，媒妁之言”
These 8 words limit the love freedom .Don't worry .let me explain this to you .
It's easy to understand ,it mean that "arrange a match by parents' order and on the matchmaker's word" .it tell me .as the children ,your love is not decide by yourself .but parents and matchmaker.
So you could see .in the ancient time ,if you love one girl but your parents don't agree .you can not marry her .or if you love one guy .but there is no matchmaker 's word .you still ca not marry him .
But in here .I have to say a little more .
Even your marriage is arranged by the parents .but it don't stand for you agree .someone tell .if asking me see the bride and she is beautiful .of course I'd like .
He he .let you watch the bride or bridegroom .no way.
In general .even you know who you marry .but you don't know what she is looking .before Wedding day . you can not know if he (she) is beautiful? even your parents .they have not see the bride or bridegroom . in a word .before in the wedding day .the female family have not seen the bridegroom .and the male family is too .I think there is only person have seen them before the wedding day .
matchmaker. only she watch them .
Ok .if your parents agree and there is matchmaker's word .ok ,let's watch next process .
I have found some information about this .this wedding process is from the Qiguo (BC 859~221) .who interested in this history .you could find Qiguo history .in ancient time . there is 6 process .
婚礼“一曰纳采，二曰向名，三曰纳吉，四曰纳征，五曰请期，六曰亲迎。”
let me explain one bye one .
First one process " 纳采"This is the first phase of proposed marriage,"采".it mean that " taking",that is,by the side(mainly male) commissioned a matchmaker,and convey the intention of marriage to the other side( mainly female).ask people to adopt appropriate.
If the other side refused, of course, this marriage is failure .
If the other party agreed , the male go to female to propose marriage carrying Preparation Ceremony .the gifts are geese,and geese must be live.
Maybe someone ask me why use goose?
Geese as migratory birds, take a symbol of keeping with the meaning of yin and yang( Yin and Yang is a big topical .if you want to know this ,you should buy some books to read these .to be honest ,it's a little hard for me to explain this .but I only tell you .in general .in here. the represent female. Yand represent male)and later developed a new meaning ,said the geese lost a spouse, for life is no longer dual, whichever is loyal.
in here ,it a little like " Yuanyang" before when I read this ,I have one doubt .why they can not use the " Yuanyang" ?I think Yuanyang is better.now people only use the Yuanyang .not use the Geese.of course .this is my doubt .
Ok .let's watch next process .
The second process is called “问名”when some people read here .he 'll laugh .you know even they is going to marry ,the male still not know other name ,He he .if you have this tought ,I only tell you .you are wrong .To be honest .when I read this ,I felt surpised like you .but when found more information ,I think I know.
There is a problem, that is in accordance with the spirit of ritual,“女子无名”it mean" the female have not formal name of the external.named by family name and Ranking.
For example,“孟姜女”when people watch in here. they must say this girl family name is “孟”and name is “姜”。
Wrong!!!.
Actually 。this girl 's family is “姜”. and the “孟” mean that is the oldest child in the meaning. “孟姜女” it mean that thsi woman is the oldest child in family of Jiang(姜）。
But .there is another question .even female have not name ,why we need to ask?
Good .this is a nice question .
In here .we mainly ask woman's identity (illegitimate),Ranking in family .born moment( remember this is important .later I give you detail explain about this )
what we do in the second process to ready for the next process .
The third process .we called “纳吉”
what's “纳吉”?in here,“吉”is auspicious, which is a good sign.by date of birth and eight characters of a horoscope on the both sides of the calculations.to be a good sign, the couple harmony, many children and grandchildren, the family business can be developed...
By the Way.Incidentally so-called "date of birth and eight characters of a horoscope"is a person's birth year, month, date, time, these four elements,each of the above corresponds to "Heavenly Stems", that is,甲、乙、丙、丁…,one of 10 symbols.below corresponds to "Earthly Branches", that is,子、丑、寅、卯……,one of 12 symbols .Up and down the four words, that is eight characters.Fate is both good and bad fortune according to the extrapolation of these eight characters.This is certainly a superstitious color, do not do details, we know what is called Eight Characters on the list.
This is the engagement stage of the rites. Ancient customs, as usual, use the goose, as the marriage has been scheduled for keepsake. as developed ,Rings, Jewelry, Colored silk, Cake, Ceremony, Candles, and even Sheep, Pigs, it is also called "送定或定聘"
Next process .we called this "纳征"
it after “纳吉”.the male side send the dowry to the female family , is married stage of rites.Also known as"完聘或大聘、过大礼等"Later, the ceremony has taken the practice to return a gift,in one or all of the food of dowry refund.or after employed.female family donated the man's clothing and headgear and footwear as a salute.
The bride price of food in one or all of the refund; or employed, will be female family donated the man's clothing and headgear and footwear as a salute. The number and the name of dowry items to take on more auspicious meaning, the number taking double,not single.
The fifth process .it called" 请期"
After sending dowry,select the date of marriage.bringing the preparation Ceremony to female home.obtain the consent of the ceremony.As usual with the ancient folk goose, gifts usually a simple affair,the dowry in “请期和过聘”is often combined with the gift had also decided to wedding
The last process .it named"亲迎"
"亲迎" ,that is .the bridegroom receive the bride personally.The wedding rites are often seen as the main program, while the former five are proposed as marriage, engagement and other transitional rituals.These form part of the need for social relationships, such as the woman home, "Tim makeup"
This is The most exciting part of the marriage .maybe I should say more about this .
The New muko( the bridegroom) go to female family to receive the bride. this is the most important .
If you think this is finish .I think your memory is suck .I said this is the most important .so there is too much to say .
Before I said this ,I want to come up with one question
Why the Chinese bride like wear red clothes in wedding day?
As well known, in the Western ,the bride always wear the white wedding. but why the Chinese people like red?
Ok .let me tell you these .
In Chinese eyes .the Red stand for the happy .and they hope the life is like fire .more and more red. so Chinese awlays said "日子应该红红火火" it mean that the life should be better and better .Now I think you should understand why the Chinese like wear red in ancient time .of course .now you still watch this scene.
In China red symbolizes luck and happiness,derived the worship from to the sun god and the earth god
Chinese people's favorite "Chinese Red"
In Beijing, the Forbidden City is best embody the "Chinese red" building
Its doors and walls are red, the red and yellow from tile roof of the Forbidden City glorified
Symbolizing the days of red and yellow earth central symbol,all of which are a symbol of the supreme imperial power.
The color white as a wedding in the mainstream of color, has its deep historical roots.
In the monarch's reign, women's social status is very low,it attaches importance to the woman's virginity,girls before the marriage must be virgin
This idea is also reflected in the color of the bride wearing the dress
In the past in some places on the states:
A white wedding is young girls patent,while married, or have been sexually abused woman can not wear a white wedding dress.
Because people think: The bride in wedding day should be the purest, most beautiful, but white is the only match with her pure beauty color
Actully.the White wedding is popular recent year in China .I remember when my little uncle marry ,my aunt wear the clothes in red
Ok .let's come back the Wedding .
In ancient time ,wedding was held in the evening. Bridal is a major upsurge in the entire wedding
The bride brought out by the sister or Bridesmaid to the father
then by the father to the bridegroom.
before leave the bride's house the bride and groom goodbye to the female parents .
In here ,please pay attention
Chinese is not like western ,so if you think the goodbye is like now " the bride only say to the parents " 爹娘.女儿要出阁了（爹=daddy,娘=mum）"
You are wrong .the parents muts sit in there .andthe bride and bridegroom must kneel down in the parents and kowtow .in general .they kowtow three times.
Of course ,in here .the female mum's eyes is wet( cried) .but the daddy don't show saddy .so this stand for the parents reluctant to give up their daugther .of course .when the bride see the mum's cried ,she 'll aslo be cried .
Of course ,these is customs .
In here ,I have to say ,since then .the bridegroom still don't know what is bride looking?even they have not seen each other.
In here .we have met one question .in ancient time, there is no car .how does they go to male?
Nice question
The house +sedan chair. I have to say .the bride don't ride house with bride groom together.
The bride sit in sedan chair,and the Groom ride house
Actully .the bride can not ride house.because there is red clothes cover the head .about why having this custom.I only tell you .
This is a symbol of the bride's chastity


Ok .let's talk about the "拜堂"
China's most unique wedding ceremony is a husband and wife, "three bows(拜堂）."
three bows have three parts:
The first one ,I have said when the groom receive the bride .they bow.
The second one .when they come to male 's family .they bow to male parents ,and Great Heaven and Nature!
When they bows, there is MC(master of ceremonies)
Do you want to know what he said ?
Ok ,let me write in here
“一拜天地，二拜高堂，夫妻对拜”
This is what he said ,maybe there is someone don't know what it mean
Never mind ,let me expalin to you.
"First we would like to get our bless for our bride and bridegroom from the Great Heaven and Nature!
Seconde we we would like to get our bless for our bride and bridegroom from their Great Parents!
Finally we would like to get our bless for our bride and bridegroom from all the notable friends and relatives!"
So now you know what it mean
After these "Three Bows" they become truly husband and wife.
About this .not now ,you don't need to go to departments receive a marriage certificate
As the "拜堂" has a very good performance，this program has been transplanted to the contemporary wedding ceremony， Contemporary "拜堂" generally married couples bows to their parents at the wedding, guests bowed to each other bow to thank the parents and friends.
After this process .the birde would be sent to the room that is ready for the bride and groom.
so she 'll wait for the groom .
in here ,someone 'll ask" the groom don't accompany the bride now? "
I only tell you" yes"
The groom must accompany the guests in outside .
Some time later .the Bridegroom 'll come back the room .
And the Bride awlays sit there for him
When he enter the room ,he found the bride sit there ( of course ,that red clothes still cover her head )
In here ,I must tell you ,the birde don't remove the red cloth by herself ,but Groom
But the Groom don't reomve this red cloth by hand , he must use one tool
Steelyard
Right .this tool is steelyard (of course ,about this ,I have found some information .In some region ,they don't use this ).
This is customs .about why do this ?
this is the image to simulate the early evening, but also to have children naturally
After this ,they'll Jiaobeijiu(the rite of drinking from nuptial cups by the bridegroom and bride on their wedding day)
After the jiaobeijiu.they should go to sleep .after now every second is precious.Hehe .
So“还是早早歇息吧”
Now .let me think one poem.it summary the Four biggest happiness in the life
金榜提名时
久旱逢甘霖
洞房花烛夜
他乡遇故知
About others ,I don't need explain ,I only explain the third sentence .
" 洞房花烛夜 "this descrble when the guests left ,only the bride and bridegroom .about what are they going to do ,I think I don't need continue to say ,everyone know this .I think everyone should expect this .
Even I have said the Four biggest Sadness in the Life .
出门踩到屎，
屙屎不带纸。
放屁崩出屎，
擦腚抠破纸.
About these ,I think I don't need explain ,if you know some basic Chinese knowledge ,you 'll know what I mean
Oh .I think I forget to intorduce one process .
This is "disturbing the nuptial chamber"
This program has been transplanted to the contemporary wedding ceremony，too .
I have done this much times ,and I have heard more fun about this
In my eyes,The most interesting part of the marriage ceremony is the "disturbing the nuptial chamber."
About this ,I think I'll say detail in contemporary wedding ceremony.so in here ,I don't say


Ok ,let's see the last customs--回门
it mean after wedding three days ,the Groom and bride must come back to the female parents.A folk-custom which requires a newly-married woman to go back to visit her parents with her husband within a specific period of time.in general .3 days
Till now ,I think this is over .this is a easy edition, such as .ceremony,Dowry .this is a big knowledge .there is much taboo.and the date of wedding ,this is a big knowledge ,too ,and this is important .In China .no everyday is suit for marry.honest ,there are only several days is nice day for marriage .
I think I don't need say more ,if you ask me introduce more detail .I think these could be as book .so who interested in this ,you only seach these .